Summer is here

No one ever told me that 22 would be the new 14. I mean what the hell body. I feel like a burning mass of sexual desire, and it doesn't help that wherever I look there are short short clad girls with tight spaghetti string tank tops!

 You've been on question one for 30 minutes!

It was only a year ago when I used to walk with my head down diligently hoping that no one would take note of my existence before I reached my car.

Why is my car buried in sand?

Recently I just can't stop staring! Now I know how annoying it can be to get stared down at by every guy you walk past on the street. I mean what kind of world do we live in when you can't wear your short skirt and fishnet top without getting eye fucked every few minutes.

The fuck y'all lookin at?

Unfortunately we can't all go around pistol whipping people like Sean Connery. Clearly the solution to this problem is to make Lebanese women less attractive. And here I am today to bring you the solution from a man's perspective. I present you with the ugly walk.

See that green thing in the top right corner, that's not it

The next time you find yourself being stared at for being attractive quickly slouch, change your posture, widen your strides, bend your knees and make grunting noises. Hey Presto! I guarantee that you won't get a single guy looking in your direction, maybe forever!

Damn you Lukewarm!

Alternatively you may also want to try the gain 20 kilo approach.


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