Advertising. What is the meaning of cool?

A lot of times these advertising agencies use words like cool or hot or I guess any word pertaining to a measure of temperature or temperament. I feel like the gap between the people receiving advertising and the advertisers is never going to be covered in Lebanon. Cool doesn't really describe something that is appealing and attractive any more, sparkly shining diamonds isn't much better (I'm looking at you mix fm)


An example of good advertising is the recent Oldspice manmercials.




You know what I did after I saw these bad babies, I went out and got some damn old-spice. Mother-fucking old-spice! the brand I used to think only my grandfather and scary cat ladies used.

Turns out it's average, just as good or bad as any other product out there trying to fill that market, but goddamn if they keep churning ads like that I'm going to keep buying their shit.

I'm on a horse.



Vault: Real Advertising:

The 5 things that will kill you this summer

Since summer ended last year sometime in September 2009, the Lebanese waters have been host to a number of ghastly disasters. While tourists are looking out for armed gunmen and killer traffic, the real danger is where they least expect it, in the waters surrounding them. (Dun Dun Duuuuuun)



I'm not talking about the fact that we dump our waste (shit) a few meters from where we swim or that the sea is more part old sandals and diapers than it is water, or even the fact that the local slaughterhouses all throw their refuse right off the Dbaye port, (What the fuck is wrong with this country)

No I'm talking about these other non-routine things :



Dead Cows

 moo

Sometime in December 2009 as you were sitting all snug and shit with your family enjoying a warm crackling fire, the choppy waters off the coast of Tripoli claimed over 30,000 heads of livestock and some of the crew members to the depth of the sea. While the nutritious value of the Lebanese water is now  5 times more than a big-mac, the fact that those cows were left to rot on the ocean floor should give everyone reason to pause before they dive headlong into the red waters of the Mediterranean.

Death!

Along with the sharks that all of that bovine meat has attracted, the coastal waters are now squirming with prions waiting to give you mad cow disease with every drop of water you accidentally swallow.

Oil

The United States isn't the only country dealing with oil spill related problems. You see the ship that capsized above, it brought in a whole lot of fuel and oil down with it. In fact so much oil is present in the Lebanese waters some experts are now saying that you don't need cooking oil to get a nice tan, just take a dip in the water. Add to the ship a number of boating accidents, and the plane crash and you get a nice broth of oily liquid to paste your skin with.

experts

Dead People

 I didn't have the heart to put up dead people, here are some playful pups

Speaking of plane crashes, did anyone wonder what happened to all those lost bodies from the air ethiopia plane crash? No they did not magically vaporize, they are slowly being digested in the sea. But with all the cows and sheep the bacteria has more than its fill of corpses to eat away at, so don't be surprised if you come across a floating arm while you're breast stroking in the waters.

Garbage Mountain

 What happens in Garbage mountain Stays in Garbage mountain

On the crystal blue sandy coastline of Southern Lebanon lies a large mountain rising from the landscape. Welcome to the Saida Garbage Mountain. In the winter months the mountain has repeatedly discharged significant amounts of trash into the sea.  So much so that Lebanese trash has now reached the shores of Turkey and Italy and they are at their wits ends as to how to stop the second highest Lebanese export!




The blood of innocent Children
I think this one is self explanatory.

Vault:



Oh Italy

Gather round children

We have some important news.

You may have noticed that posts over here have come to a grindingly slow pace in the past month, and we are aware that our one year anniversary is also coming up on the 4th of July! (We hear that they are preparing quite the celebration for us in America). As a result we have come together and decided to put some effort to resume some form of frequent posting.

In fact I have decided to go on a life-changing regimen that should grant me superpowers within the next few weeks.

As you see above in the image with a needlessly large white space at the bottom, I mean business. Though admittedly the fact that I have already failed 70% of the items on the list as I am writing this post does not bode well.

I will do it!

Inspiration for this came from a sketch by stand up comedian Demitri Martin feel free to adopt your own system as you see fit. And now I leave you to finish reading a book and my celebratory bottle of wine for every book I finish reading.

Vault:

Haikus

Woke up this morning and these were lying there in my head

Haiku: FUCK

Outside my bedroom
A construction site starts
it is 6 A.M.

Haiku: Lunch

met french-man today
tasted like cheese and pine nuts
Ah! that hit the spot

Byron I am not.

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I don't know who drew or created the text for this, but they are a far superior being than I.