Monday, June 21, 2010

The 5 things that will kill you this summer

Since summer ended last year sometime in September 2009, the Lebanese waters have been host to a number of ghastly disasters. While tourists are looking out for armed gunmen and killer traffic, the real danger is where they least expect it, in the waters surrounding them. (Dun Dun Duuuuuun)


I'm not talking about the fact that we dump our waste (shit) a few meters from where we swim or that the sea is more part old sandals and diapers than it is water, or even the fact that the local slaughterhouses all throw their refuse right off the Dbaye port, (What the fuck is wrong with this country)

No I'm talking about these other non-routine things :

Dead Cows

Sometime in December 2009 as you were sitting all snug and shit with your family enjoying a warm crackling fire, the choppy waters off the coast of Tripoli claimed over 30,000 heads of livestock and some of the crew members to the depth of the sea. While the nutritious value of the Lebanese water is now  5 times more than a big-mac, the fact that those cows were left to rot on the ocean floor should give everyone reason to pause before they dive headlong into the red waters of the Mediterranean.

Along with the sharks that all of that bovine meat has attracted, the coastal waters are now squirming with prions waiting to give you mad cow disease with every drop of water you accidentally swallow.


The United States isn't the only country dealing with oil spill related problems. You see the ship that capsized above, it brought in a whole lot of fuel and oil down with it. In fact so much oil is present in the Lebanese waters some experts are now saying that you don't need cooking oil to get a nice tan, just take a dip in the water. Add to the ship a number of boating accidents, and the plane crash and you get a nice broth of oily liquid to paste your skin with.


Dead People
 I didn't have the heart to put up dead people, here are some playful pups

Speaking of plane crashes, did anyone wonder what happened to all those lost bodies from the air ethiopia plane crash? No they did not magically vaporize, they are slowly being digested in the sea. But with all the cows and sheep the bacteria has more than its fill of corpses to eat away at, so don't be surprised if you come across a floating arm while you're breast stroking in the waters.

Garbage Mountain
 What happens in Garbage mountain Stays in Garbage mountain

On the crystal blue sandy coastline of Southern Lebanon lies a large mountain rising from the landscape. Welcome to the Saida Garbage Mountain. In the winter months the mountain has repeatedly discharged significant amounts of trash into the sea.  So much so that Lebanese trash has now reached the shores of Turkey and Italy and they are at their wits ends as to how to stop the second highest Lebanese export!

The blood of innocent Children
I think this one is self explanatory.



Oh Italy


Anonymous said...

Fuck! that's one ruined summer

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