Haiti brought it on themselves

In a recent T.V. appearance Pat Robertson, some old white fart who almost ran for Republican American presidency in 1988, said that the earthquake in Haiti happened because god was punishing the Haitians for making a deal with the devil to get rid of the French.

I do not envy That news presenter

Now aside from the fact that Pat Robertson has the brainpower of a Fujitsu laptop running Windows ME, just picture the fucking lengths people are willing to go to, to get rid of the fucking French!  A deal with the MotherFucking Devil! More power to you Haitians more power to you! Hell if I had those Smelly, onion loving, pit licking, homeboys in my backyard I'd sacrifice anything to get them the hell out. I'd sacrifice my first legitimate born child to the devil if I had to.

Back you French demons!

But Wait! there's more! It just came to me that we here in Lebanon were "under the heel" of the French ourselves. And if the Haitians were too primitive to get rid of them without divine intervention, then what of us! And then it hit me! That's why we went through the civil war! Of course! Beshara Khoury and Riad El Solh sitting in two separate Jail cells being interrogated by the French for hours! Only demonic aid could have
gotten them through that ordeal!

Talk or we'll shove this somewhere unpleasant... your mouth!

Anyway One civil war later and we're stilling paying our debt back to the devil. I reckon with the maths done those days we still have about half a million souls due by the turn of this decade. One way or another he's going to get them...


Vault:

The Musical Ass

I spend a lot of time on the internet. As a result I often have a myriad of useless facts that will in no way come up in conversation or enrich my social experience. Today I will share one of these findings with you because it is of such a nature that keeping it to myself would be a sin.

I present to you Joseph Pujol:




Also known as le fartiste, and le petomane.

I generally look down upon anything French in nature as a product of cheese-eating surrender monkeys. But this guy's genius and talent is of a sort that would incline me to disregard his unfortunate origin.

He plays the flute with his ass, and can make various noises with his instrument. Check his story on Wikipedia.

If you watched the entire four minutes of this video, I suggest you get a hobby, or even better yet, get laid.


Below is a completely unrelated picture of a man shitting himself whilst running a marathon. Extra points for the look on the crowds face. Man that guy's life must suck.