Saturday, December 26, 2009

*Spoiler Warning* Sherlock Homes

Old Sherlock:

Watson: But Holmes how ever did you figure it out?

Holmes: Well you see it's elementary my dear boob headed companion, the killer is clearly Mrs. Pinkerton because of this set of incriminating evidence with which by highlighting I have simultaneously blown your and the reader's brains by the sheer force of awesome that is my deductive capability. Now run off while I make love to the dozens of Women waiting in line.

The pure genius of deductive reasoning

New Sherlock Homes Movie:

Watson: Oh fucktits, your breath stinks like hell have you been drinking again?

Holmes: Mumbles something about wanting to make love to Watson

Watson: Fuck! This is why I;m leaving this shit hole, you are always covered in shit, and being a generalfuck around asshole, Like that last time you pointed out that my mother had Breast Cancer. Very smooth asshole, it takes a real fucking genius to deduce that she had her boobs missing.

*Pigeon slams on window*
Holmes: Watson, a case has just landed in my lap, shall we take it up.

Watson: *glances at the incriminating papers Holmes is flashing in front of him* You're a fucking asshole


Holmes: Fucktits Watson, we're at a cemetery, look at me while I lick this stone I found on the ground.

Watson: I'm pretty sure that's how you get syphilis...

Holmes: nonsense Watson (licks the face of a corpse in the morgue)

Watson: (throwing up on the evidence) Jesus ... would you please stop that.

Holmes: Alright Watson lets go fuck around while we wait for more evidence to fall on our heads, or I get you killed, whichever comes first.


Lord Blackwood: Now with this technology which has yet to be invented for another good 300 years I will kill everyone with cyanide which I will then somehow use to rule the world.

Holmes: (laughing) black .. wood, ahahahha, dude what the fuck, you must have been bullied like hell as a kid.

Blackwood: (stares at feet)

Holmes: listen we all know how this movie will end so why don't you save us all the trouble and go die in a dramatic finale. I have some drinking to do.


Watson: Holmes wake the fuck up, you've been dreaming again. I'm leaving you for good this time, and stop molesting our dog. good bye.

The End!



dash said...

holmes : oh noooo no watson.. i promise i will behave next time! i promise i will go breaking your heart ...

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