Monday, August 24, 2009

**Spain vs Lebanon** Deathmatch edition

I know many of you have been disappointed that we have not been updating as frequently, but let me tell you that for the past two weeks I have been on an intensive worskshop on how to blog better just for you guys, and totally not on a vacation.

So before starting out, let me warn you that this will be a long post so you might want to put some popcorn in the microwave, or some kittens in the oven while you read, that way you'll either have a tasty snack when your done or some popped corn. ZING!

In order to set some context to this showdown let me get some things I've been wanting to say off my chest first.

The sun in Spain is the same in Lebanon, those poems about how it's different are absolute BULLSHIT!

Flight: Some-time during the annual meeting of airline companies someone came up with a brilliant idea of telling passengers tiny tidbits of information mid-flight. That someone was Satan's minion and ever since passengers have been shitting their pants. On my flight the captain personally took the microphone and after finishing his karaoke of "eye of the tiger" informed us that we are currently flying at 10,000 motherfucking meters above sea level, and going at the breezy speed of 800 ball busting kilometers per hour. Motherfucker! Thanks a lot captain I'll be sure to sleep easier with that information!

Compliments of Check Airlines

As for the quality of the flight, it is a sad sad sight to see what airlines have been reduced to. I remember the first time I rode a plane, we had a flight attendant named Rupok, who was friendly and gave me and my two brothers each a big ass plastic container of candy and Pepsi. Man I loved that guy, he is probably the best flight attendant ever, Rupok I miss you man.

In Spain I also saw an old guy's heart attacking him. He was walking on two crutches making his way up the pavement I was on the other side of the road, I saw him struggling to get the crutches off the tarmac and onto the pavement. He began shaking violently and soon started shivering all over. A Spanish dude came to his aid hugged him and settled him down onto the pavement while his wife went to call for help (GAY!). At this point I thought I could be of no use to this scenario so I went for a swim.

Finally when you need to travel pack light, all you need is some swimwear and a big stick to hunt shit with and that 99.9% disinfectant stuff.

Now on to the stand-off!!



Yasmina said...

but...but... you didn't change anything!!

Hanzala said...

man its disappointing, ur other posts are much better! saying alot of motherfuckeing doesnt make it funnier..
btw 7amdella 3al salemeh

lukewarm said...

this is just some stuff I've been wanting to say but not knowing how. The real action is in the showdown, be sure to read it by clicking the link

Anonymous said...

i tend to agree with hanzala
hi hanzala

Hanzala said...

hello anonymous!

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