Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Every Diet ever made

Holy Crap!

You've just discovered an ancient secret weight loss recipe!

For only 9.55 you too can learn how to lose weight quick!


Fuck tits! you know I'm excited cause I wrote that in caps lock!

By following this easy 5 step formula you too can gain that lovely body shape you have always desired:

Step 1: Breakfast:
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day it makes up 25% of your daily nutrition intake! We don't know why that's so special as it leaves 75% between lunch and dinner but whatever, don't question your parents.
You can have WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR BREAKFAST as long as it's *Insert exotic fruit/vegetable here* HOLY TITS YOU CAN EVEN HAVE MORE THAN ONE! but no more than three.

 Sweet Sweet Babies

Step 2: Lunch:
Have ANYTHING YOU WANT for lunch. Just stay away from fried foods, and only eat till you feel 8/10th full.. No dessert for you, you chubby double chinned man baby!


Step 3: Dinner
Have WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR DINNER just make sure it's a light dinner and don't eat right before you sleep, try not to eat after 8pm you fatass

Though not part of the diet, burger baths are awesome!

Step 4: Drinks

Only Drink water or diet beverages and only do so in small sips. Keep drinking as much as you can. You can have the occasional wine or whiskey but stay the fuck away from beer, that dude is one bad mofo.

Step 5 :  Snacks

HOLY FUCKING TEARS COMING OUT OF MY EYES! YOU CAN HAVE SNACKS TOO! Sure you can! Two snacks a day, a snack is anything you can buy for a dollar.

This qualifies as a full meal not a snack

Step 6: What the fuck are you retarded! I said there were 5 steps.

Follow this diet for 2 months and I can guarantee that you will lose some weight ... maybe.

This Diet is patented by the Bazella W Riz foundation.



Hummus said...

What about "akl el hawa"? Is there a limit to that? ;-)

Nice article!

lukewarm said...

Iza hawa baladi la2 :D

thanks Hummus!

Yasmina said...

We actually ate "anything" today, didn't we?

Linda Betty said...

Thanks for the nice blog. It was very useful for me. I m happy I found this blog. Thank you for sharing with us,I too always learn something new from your post.

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