The reason why so many people have their panties in a bunch about this thing is that the ration of two consecutive numbers in this sequence results in what they called “the Golden Ratio”. With a name like that you can guess what kind of ego this ratio has, the fucker turns up everywhere, in flowers, snail shells, toilet bowls, your fucking face, and your mom’s bedroom after I left last night. The fact that the number, like pi, has no end doesn’t seem to bother anyone. This motherfucker is so imperfect (1.6180339887...) one would wonder why they would call it golden. Sure it pops up everywhere but so does herpes, we don’t call that the golden disease!
What’s worse is this fucking sequence has caught the attention of popular culture, they’re using it in all sorts of movies, and even in games! Nerds would know that Blizzard Entertainment used it in Diablo 3 hidden in the teaser trailer.
However, one thing you have to give this ratio credit for is that it’s useful. It helped me get through some of the most insecure years of my life.
As a young boy in the first stages of puberty you often have the problem of getting a raging hard-on in the most inappropriate situations. Many people tell you that thinking of nasty images does the trick but it very often leaves you with a disturbing aftertaste and can lead to unfortunate fetishes which include a mix of necrophilia, incest, and sadism.
I preferred to count, but I found that simple counting was not distracting enough and sometimes made it worse by pitting me in a race to reach the proverbial finish line. I began with the simple sequence of multiplying by 2, but pretty soon that got too easy and I would have to reach the 10,000’s before my boner turned flaccid. So by trial and error I settled on the fucking Fibonacci sequence before I knew what it was! Turns out it’s one of the most efficient ways to lose wood, truly God has given us the tools to avoid temptation.
If cells had to build shit exponentially this doesn’t mean that this thing is an engineering wonder, just cause we’ve been trained to spot it for mating purposes makes it no less golden than the ring on a pimps hand. It’s troubling that we can’t be creative enough to overcome the limits set upon us by nature.
We need a new ratio one we can call our own. 2 should do the trick, 2 is a great fucking number, man it’s an even prime number, and the fucker divides any other number into two even halves, man 2 is the fucking shit. It’s also the number of people you need to make a threesome! Man I already love this fucking number!
I leave you with this unrelated image from the vault: