Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mix FM

If you have never been in Lebanon or don’t have fingers, you probably won’t get this post. Do yourself a favour and scroll down to the picture, with … like your nubs … or something.

Anyone else here get excited when they hear mix fm ads. I sure as hell do. That mix fm ad voice is probably the only reason that station is such a success.

With a voice like that I bet that guy is drowning in pussy. No mortal can resist its persuasive hold. He could sell ugly running shoes to a quadriplegic, they’d be fucking expensive running shoes too! He probably fucking sold his soul to the devil in exchange for that voice. Shit he probably IS the devil. That’s one badass motherfucker. This is hard for me to say but once I was on the verge of fucking tears because of him.

I’ve never been to one of those massive parties so I have no idea what goes down there, but when I hear that smooth syrup flavoured sugar coated voice talking about it I nearly wet my pants with anticipation. (That wet is in the present tense deal with it!)

He fills you with all this pride, tells you what a great person you are and how impressive and important you are to the world. You know all those things your parents never told you.

Then when you’re so in love with this man that you would let him stick his fist up your ass he seals the deal by telling you that going to this party is your national duty.

By having fun and spending money you are actually actively helping to make Lebanon a better place! Never has doing nothing been so productive. Going to this party, binge drinking, molesting underage girls, and doing lines of coke in the bathroom, is your fucking debt to Lebanon. By doing so you will be up there with tanios shehine and fakhr eddine, smoking a reefer with the prophets and hitting a bong with Einstein. Fuuuuuck.

In order to protect yourself from this evil influence I suggest writing everything down, and then repeating it back to yourself to realize how retarded it actually is. Everyone knows that the only real way to make Lebanon a better place is by abusing domestic workers. And that’s the final word on that!

nubbies this is for you:
It's funny cause they don't have fingers...

Ah fuck i'll throw in this awesome christopher walken mask for free. Be careful with those scissors or you'll end up as a nubbie.


Anonymous said...

I love you!

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