Sunday, July 19, 2009

Pet Peeve

One of the more asinine things about human interaction is when someone offers you something with no intention of actually delivering on his offer.

I was in the police station (long story that may or may not involve bestiality) today, when just as I was leaving this guy who I just met a mere half hour ago offered me to join him for Lunch. He said he had prepared fish.

Naturally I politely refused, but I silently wondered what the fuck would this guy have done had I told him. "holy fucktits! I love fish, lead the way!"

I then imagined an awkward lunch with his family as I ate their food, Killed his only child, and proceeded to force his wife to give me fellatio (that's a sciency way to say blowjob!).

I mean, seriously! What the fuck are you thinking! You obviously have not thought the consequences of your offer through.

I mean clearly you do not intend nor do you want to invite me over for Lunch, then why the fuck would you do it. I'm not going to say "oh wow what a thoughtful person". No! I'm going to treat it as the perfunctory remark reserved for only the greatest of the mentally handicapped people who think that by doing so they are somehow being thoughtful as opposed to the great time wasting shit piles that they are.

On an unrelated note, do you guys want a bite of my sandwich?

\I found this in the deep red neck conservative part of the internet.

I like to think that whoever made these has a job somewhere in Homeland Security where he wears a pink fuzzy outfit and spreads joy and warmth to immigrants.


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