Thursday, July 23, 2009

Tourists welcomed to Lebanon with sexual harassment


More proof that this problem is due to some Pheremonal imbalance in my friend and totally not a problem of Levantine men. On her trip to Syria my friend travelling with two of her male friends was solicited for sexual favours by the driver. After she refused, the driver who apparently also hooked them up with the apartment they are renting then told her she could have her rent money back if she went home with him. After she refused his second more generous offer, he then tried to buy her from one of her friends. Fuuuuuuuck. This shit is ridiculous.

original story below

I would like to start by commenting that unlike my fellow blogger I was just thinking the other day how much shit I have to share with you guys. I never seem to have a problem in finding relevant topics to discuss. This is probably because my thoughts are shallow depraved ramblings, and not much effort goes into them really but it's nice to know that at least one of us cares about you.

On to the main event:

I have recently had a Dutch friend visit Lebanon for tourism, espionage, and some counter-terrorism work on the side. We were having a conversation the other day and she relayed to me her first contact in the country with Lebanese men.

Upon arriving to the country the first male specimen she met was the guy checking her passport at the airport. In fact he was the first person human she met in Lebanon. I would expect that airport management had trained this individual to be a glowing example of Lebanese civility, kindness, and sophistication. Instead the first thing he did was to follow the age-long drive that has pushed men to better themselves and society since aeons, and that is to get laid.

He asked her if she wanted a friend to show her around Lebanon, ripped up a visa application, wrote his number on it, and slid it to her with a wink. I especially like the final touch he put to seal the deal, by saying "I promise you will have a really good time".

Taking this first impact of Lebanon as an anomaly she then went out to get a Taxi. 5 minutes into the drive the Taxi driver breaks down and emotionally tells my friend "I love you". He then proceeded to caress her thigh and hold her hand and put it on his lap, all the while repeating the words "I love you".

Instead of going with his suggestion which I assume involved, getting married, and having kids, my friend opted to choose the alternative course of action which involved telling him to "fuck off" and to "keep your hands to yourself". They got to the hotel, and upon her paying him less than the fee he asked the driver heartbrokenly told her, "I don't love you anymore". Needless to say many tears were shed at the end of this beautiful blossoming relationship but sadly they had to part paths.

Her next ordeal was with the boy who tends to the coals at the restaurant, in which once again it seems she had found her long lost lover. He indirectly expressed his undying appreciation to her beauty by telling her that he wanted to marry her. Resisting her impulse to run off with him into the horizon, and despite them having a connection lasting approximately 3 minutes she again chose to look in the opposite direction of love and continue her life of solitude.

As she told me this I thought to myself this could mean one of either two things. The first being that my friend was actually the Greek God of Love Aphrodite, and that men are unable to resist her godly aura of lust and love, or the second that Lebanese men have a serious etiquette problem in which the traditional steps expected in a relationship no longer exist.

But before I could ask her how she felt about this, being the short attention spanned fellow that I am, I lost my train of thought staring at her boobs eyes, and instead chose to ask her "so do you have a boyfriend".

From the vault conflicting signs about how to treat women:


Post a Comment