Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Jim Carrey Was a Janitor!

Turns out there are a bunch of stars who had less than fortunate backgrounds. This is the list in which I'll try to list some of them ... in which some of them I will list:

Jim Carrey

Famous for his unforgettable role in "The Mask" and his abilities as a comedian, Carrey has also had forays into serious Genres many of which sucked and some of which changed the history of the world forever. He worked as a Janitor when he was 16 after he dropped out of school. "When the family's finances continued to sink, the Carreys lost their home and lived in a Volkswagen van, traveling to various campgrounds on the outskirts of Toronto."

In retrospect dumb and dumber seems to make a lot more sense now.
I didn't know any better, my father was a Bum! :'(

Demi Moore

Recently famous for marrying Ashton Kutcher, but before that she was famous for her awesome rack and face and for being a generall all around bombshell. At the wedding ceremony many of the guests looked around yelling "punked, we've been punked right?"

I'll let wikipedia do the talking for this one.

"she was named Demetria after a beauty product her mother saw in a magazine. Her biological father, Charles Harmon, left her mother, after a two-month marriage, before Moore was born. As a result, Moore had the surname of her stepfather, Danny Guynes . Danny Guynes, who committed suicide in 1980, frequently changed jobs; as a result the family moved a total of forty times. Moore's parents were alcoholics and often fought and beat each other. Moore was cross-eyed as a child, and wore an eye patch in an attempt to correct the problem until it was eventually corrected by two surgeries. She also suffered from kidney dysfunction."

So basically her mom names her after eye-liner which goes bankrupt, her biological dad walks out when she's 2 months old, her step dad commits suicide. Everything she touches dies!
Not now Spiderman!

Come to think of it, the whole marrying Ashton Kutcher thing makes sense now.
You've been punked!

Brad Pitt

Famous for looking good and marrying Angelina Jolie, and Jeniffer Aniston. He has proven himself a worthy actor capable of showing off his abs in a wide variety of roles.

Even without his last name Brad Pitt had to overcome some serious challenges as a kid. (If you search armpits on google you can find a shitload of sick ass porn. What the fuck hell internet!, seriously though don't click the link)

Pitt attended Kickapoo High School, "While struggling in Los Angeles, Pitt took on various occasional jobs. These jobs ranged from chauffeur, to dressing up as an El Pollo Loco chicken to pay for his acting classes."
pictured above: Brad Pitt

Next time you meet a guy wearing a condom suit at the mall, just imagine that underneath all that lube lies a potential Brad Pitt.
Although more likely inside lies a Giant Dick. Heyo!

Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone is most famous for her role in Basic Instinct, and for perfecting the art of opening your legs. She's a famous jerk-face fruit salad bowl, she converted to Scientology, then Buddhism, and is great at saying insensitive things and wasting loads of money as a humanitarian!

Oh she also worked at Mc-Donalds which is why she's on this list.
There is not much family trauma here but go ahead and save that picture for later use.

Rosario Dawson

First Famous for her role in Josie and the Pussycats, Later for kickass roles in Men in Black 2, Sin City, and a bunch of other cool movies. She also starred opposite to some guy who made her orgasm using a feather because he was taking a bet on how long he could last without exercising his mojo. By exercising I mean sex and by mojo I mean penis. Let's not dwell on that though.

The story behind Rosario is heart breaking/warming. Her mom was Puerto Rican, her Dad was an African plumber. They were poor, so her mom broke into a condemned building wired an apartment to get electricity and water and that's where they lived till Rosario hit it big when she was discovered sitting at her doorstep.




Anonymous said...

Guess who eles is janitore!? Your rotten corpse raped in my baaasment

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